What does it mean to belong? To feel valuable?
People can feel valuable when their family shows them appreciation for work they do to support the family, financially, physically or emotionally. Getting a Thank You, a card, a gift, a handmade drawing from a child.
Sometimes during a divorce people don’t see their value in family and can get their value from their employment or work. If people are self employed they could get value from being successful financially, or value from doing a good job and getting words of approval and appreciation from clients, customers or patients.
Sometimes if people don’t get this value, and feeling of belonging from work or employment they can get it from participating in groups. This can be spiritual or religious groups. This can be community groups or non-profits that help other people, help the environment, help animals and such. Volunteering at a Senior Center, cleaning up the local beach or park, walking dogs at the local animal shelter can give people value, make them feel a connection and that they belong.
This need can also lead people to connect or join groups that are not positive and can be hurtful, such as cults or gangs that use people and can hurt people. People can become workaholics push business too hard. People can become childaholics putting pressure on children to give them value. People can push their involvement in groups too far, becoming obsessed. However often these things can lead to disappointment.
When in search of belonging and value people must take care to seek out people or groups that can make a positive impact on their lives.
In truth the value of the connection and the value placed on time with family, at work, with religious groups or other groups needs to come from inside rather than an outside awaiting a “good job” or other accolades.